Difference between Divorce Counselling & Coaching

Going through a divorce is an emotional roller coaster. The truth is that divorce, regardless of how amicable it is, is a highly stressful and life-changing event. The sheer volume of legal, emotional, and logistical issues that must be addressed can be overwhelming. In addition, the idea of creating an entirely new life for yourself can feel paralyzing.

One of the gifts you can give yourself while navigating this time is professional support. Creating a support team has many benefits and while lawyers play an integral role in answering your legal questions, it is not necessarily their specialty to manage the emotional challenges associated with separation and divorce. Often lawyers build relationships with other professionals, including mediators, social workers, and financial advisors, intending to create a strong supportive team just for you. This may sound expensive; however, it is helpful to be focused at the beginning of the divorce process. There are multiple benefits to being attentive through the divorce process, such that it may assist with making decisions that are grounded and balanced; it may decrease the length of the negotiations and assist with alleviating stress. Understanding who can help get you focused is where coaching and counselling come into play. You may be wondering what coaching and counselling are, and how you know which modality is the best fit for you.

What are the similarities between Counselling and Coaching?

Counselling and coaching are both based on a confidential and trusting relationship between the client and the counsellor or coach. Counsellors and coaches both commit to complete confidentiality unless they have reason to believe that their client is going to harm themselves or someone else. Developing a connection with your counsellor or coach is at the heart of where change comes from. Trusting someone with your deepest thoughts and feelings requires complete confidence and a sense of safety.

Counselling and coaching both focus on the client having some awareness and insight into their actions and behaviors.

What is coaching?

Unlike counselling, coaching does not provide the same degree of processing of past issues or events. Coaching focuses on goal setting and moving forward through awareness, action, and accountability.

Coaching works in the present to establish goals to navigate through separation and divorce with confidence. Coaching provides you with immediate results and guidance to be strategic, realistic and solution-focused. A coach allows you to brainstorm ideas and teaches you to be mindful about decisions you are making for the future. As divorce is a transitional phase in life and learning how to navigate ideas such as learning to be on your own, financially independent and parenting are all new. A relationship with a coach can go beyond the relationship with your lawyer to provide support and direction towards building a new life after divorce.

Examples of Divorce Coaching

• Creating a parenting plan with an understanding of child development and big-picture thinking.
• Learning strategies to avoid high conflict situations with your ex-partner.
• Learning effective techniques to communicate and negotiate with your ex-partner through social media to avoid certain communication from appearing in affidavits.
• Learning strategies to help you move through issues that remain unresolved.
• Learning strategies to stay focused during conversations with your lawyer and to prepare for meetings, assessments, and court appearances.
• Help with learning how to be a newly single parent.

What is Divorce Counselling?

Counselling is process-oriented which means we look at the journey as well as the destination. A counsellor will help you look at the whole picture, starting by looking back at the events that led you to where you are now. This process enables you to understand events that helped shape your perspective of the marriage and what may have led to separation.

A divorce counsellor can guide you through this painful and uncertain time while providing you with the tools you need to move on in a positive and healthy way. A counsellor can also teach you how to resume a fulfilling post-divorce life and minimize the impact on your children. The counsellor listens and guides you towards your goals and living your best life.

The Benefits of divorce counselling include:

• Learning techniques and strategies to better manage negative feelings and resolve conflicts from your marriage.
• The provision of guidance as you consider the option of divorce and make a decision about the future of your marriage (if you haven’t decided yet).
• The provision of a safe and confidential environment to process unresolved issues and provide closure to one chapter in your life and as you move on to the next.
• The chance to better understand what went wrong in the relationship and how to learn from it to make future relationships more successful.
• Help with understanding that life goes on post-divorce, and provides strategies for transitioning into your new life.
• Discussing what parenting means to you and how to be present for your children when struggling with your own emotions.

How can Rise Up Counselling help?

Rise Up Counselling provides both counselling and coaching services. The type of intervention an individual requires depends on the needs of the individual at the time of the separation process. We meet the client where they are at. We respect that individuals navigating separation and divorce have various needs, from parenting questions to “why me?” By completing our Intake form, we gain an understanding and are open to talking about how to best service your needs either through counselling, coaching or a little of both. We pride ourselves in being flexible, empathetic and understanding. No matter the need, Rise Up Counselling will support you every step of the way.