Emotions can feel like a rollercoaster when you are separated. However, clients often tell us they feel sad or lonely at night. This is not uncommon for several reasons:

😴Quiet and Solitude: Nighttime is generally quieter, which can lead to increased self-reflection and a heightened awareness of one's emotions.
😴Reduced Distractions: During the day, people are often occupied with work, social activities, and other distractions, which can temporarily alleviate feelings of sadness or loneliness. At night, when these distractions are reduced, these emotions may become more noticeable.
😴Lack of Social Interaction: Nighttime often involves fewer social interactions, making it easier to feel isolated or lonely, especially if someone is alone.
😴Negative Thoughts: It's common for people to ruminate on negative thoughts and feelings when they have more downtime at night.

It's important to remember that the experience of sadness or loneliness can vary greatly from person to person, and these feelings can occur at any time of day. If someone consistently feels this way at night, it may be helpful to seek support from friends, family, or a mental health professional.

#NighttimeEmotions #SelfReflection #YouAreNotAlone #riseupcounselling #divorce #seperation #socialworkersofinstagram #lifeafterdivorce ...

Grief and divorce are closely related because divorce represents a significant loss, not just of a marriage but often of dreams, expectations, and a shared future. Here's how grief relates to divorce:
❤️Loss of the Relationship: Divorce involves the end of a significant relationship. Just like with other forms of loss, individuals going through divorce may experience feelings of grief, including denial, anger, sadness, and acceptance.
❤️Emotional Rollercoaster: People experiencing divorce can go through a range of emotions similar to the stages of grief. They might initially deny the reality of the divorce, feel angry about the situation or their ex-spouse, and eventually come to terms with it.
❤️Grieving the Future: Divorce often means letting go of the future plans and dreams that were built around the marriage. This can lead to a sense of loss and mourning for what might have been.
❤️Identity Shift: Individuals may also experience an identity crisis during divorce, as they redefine themselves outside of the marriage. This can be a grieving process as they let go of their role as a spouse.
❤️Healing and Acceptance: As with other forms of grief, people who have gone through divorce can reach a point of acceptance. They may find ways to rebuild their lives, establish new routines, and move forward.
❤️Support is Crucial: Just like with any form of grief, having a support system of friends, family, or a therapist can be essential during a divorce. Talking about one's feelings and seeking professional help can help individuals navigate the emotional challenges.

It's important to recognize that divorce is a unique form of loss, and the grieving process can vary widely from person to person. Some people may adjust relatively quickly, while others may take a long time to heal. The key is to allow oneself to grieve, seek support when needed, and work towards a healthy adjustment to the new circumstances.

#socialworkersofinstagram #lifeafterdivorce #riseupcounselling #griefanddivorce #divorce ...

In a world that constantly demands more, remember to give yourself the kindness you truly deserve. 💕 Here are some simple steps to nurture your relationship with yourself:

🥰Speak kindly to yourself
🥰Practice self-compassion
🥰Prioritize self-care
🥰Set realistic goals
🥰Learn and grow from mistakes
🥰Forgive your past self
🥰Establish healthy boundaries
🥰Celebrate your achievements
🥰Seek support when needed
🥰Stay mindful in the moment

Tag a friend who needs this reminder today!

#SelfLove #KindnessToSelf #YouDeserveIt #riseupcounselling #lifeafterdivorce #therapy #socialworkersofinstagram ...

We know that sending messages through email and texts can be “easier” than in person. However, many of our clients (and their ex partners) have gotten themselves in some trouble just by pushing that “send” button.

Rise Up Counselling can provide coaching to you and/or your clients in this area to support and provide education about appropriate messaging.

Contact us for more information at www.riseupcounselling.com

#riseupcounselling #coaching #separation #divorce #highconflictdivorce #coparenting #socialworkersofinstagram #therapy #counselling ...

Is anyone else a reality tv junkie?!!

Well, we at Rise Up Counselling are. If you are as well, it is no surprise as to why we are obsessed with the show Sister Wives!

Sister Wives is based on a polygamist family which follows a husband and his four wives and their combined 18 children. In the most recent season, the family is facing not one, not two, but three divorces!  

As the show airs weekly, you see the rollercoaster of emotions from the family. There is a discussion on co-parenting therapy, its impact on children, parenting time schedules, holidays, and so much more.

As social workers who specialize in this area, a few things stick out:

💥Everyone on the show is dealing with a lot of big feelings. Especially the husband is facing three divorces at the same time. There will be many different emotions during this process, such as anger, sadness, denial, excitement, resentment, etc. These emotions can change day to day, hour by hour. All of the feelings are normal!!

💥They all have a great support system. It is so important to have a positive support network. Whether a professional or a friend, having people to lean on during this time is essential. 

💥Lack of communication. There needs to be more communication between the wives regarding planning for the children for things such as holidays. These children have 18 siblings; sibling relationships must be encouraged and facilitated. Some are too young to arrange on their own, and it is so important for parents to maintain meaningful and beneficial relationships. 

Divorce is a change for anyone involved. Watching a reality TV show is not the “therapy” one needs; however, seeing what others are going through can be helpful and remind you that you are not alone in your journey. Rise Up Counselling can support you at any time.  

Is anyone else watching the show? We would love to know your thoughts; comment below⬇️⬇️

#riseupcounselling #sisterwives #realitytv #seperation #divorce #highconflict #coparenting #lifeafterdivorce #childrenofdivorce ...

Rise Up Counselling offers Voice of the Child Reports (VCR). Not sure what it is or how it helps?

A VCR is one way to give children a chance to be heard in family law proceedings. A VCR is a written report that shares the wishes and preferences of the child(ren). The hope is to decrease the emotional impact of the separation/divorce proceeding on the child(ren) and help move the process forward.

The VCR provides information about the child's views and preferences concerning their life and the issues in dispute between the parents.

The VCR is not designed to determine what is in the child’s best interest nor to offer the child a choice of where to reside. The report describes the child’s hopes and wishes to their parents and the court.

The VCR is child-focused. It is prepared and conducted in a sensitive manner that can support the child with participating in the family law proceeding. The VCR can help alleviate the potential for the child to be directly involved in family law matters; otherwise, they may be drawn into the proceedings by a parent attempting to pressure a child into giving evidence in court through a letter or requesting the judge to interview the child.

The VCR can be less intrusive and more cost-effective than a Section 30 or Section 112 assessment completed by the Office of the Children's Lawyer. It contains less information than a full custody assessment and is therefore conducted in a timelier manner.

We would be happy to discuss if a VCR is right for you and/or your client. Contact us for more information.

#vcr #voc #voiceofthechildreports #voiceofthechild #riseupcounselling #therapythathelps #divorce #seperation #onestepatatime ...

Tips for co-parents from co-parenting therapists.

Therapy is hard work! Co-parenting sessions can be even harder!! At Rise Up Counselling, we facilitate many co-parenting discussions. Let us offer you just a few tips on how to make the most of this time together:

1. Shift your brain from a partner brain to a co-parent brain. You are no longer a couple; you are now co-parents! How decisions were made in the past differs from how decisions will be made in the future.  
2. Think of this relationship as more of a business transaction with proposals. Would you ever write your boss a rude and demanding email that is charged with emotions? Probably not!! You would draft an email, review it until it sounded professional and then send it off. Why do you do this way? Because you do not want to get fired. So, you spend more time creating a thoughtful and meaningful email to have your proposal approved and needs met. The same principle has to apply when dealing with your co-parent! No one responds well to a hurtful, emotionally charged or demanding email.  
3. Come prepared with agenda items for the meeting. Focusing on why your relationship ended, how terrible the other parent is, and what you think they need to do better is not helpful. Use this time to deal with specific issues that need to be solved. 
4. Be respectful and open-minded. Your way may just be different. This is not about winning; this is about compromising. When you buy a house, you may only sometimes get every feature you seek. However, you learn to settle a bit; maybe a smaller mud room but a more oversized backyard? Co-parenting can’t be about winning or losing. You can agree to disagree respectfully.  

If you are struggling with co-parenting and want some support, contact Rise Up Counselling.  

#riseupcounselling #coparenting #therapy #lifeafterdivorce #childrenofdivorce #socialworkersofinstagram #separation #divorce ...

We are excited to see our ad in the Peel Briefs Issue 3 recently.

#peellawassociation #riseupcounselling #socialworkersofinstagram #welovewhatwedo #peelbriefs #seperation #divorce #lifeafterdivorce ...

Being raised in two houses after a divorce or separation can be difficult for children. With a shared parenting schedule, not only do they have to contend with no longer seeing both parents every day, but they must also adapt to new surroundings if one or both parents have moved. A child who is parented from two homes may have difficulty during transition times. Upon arrival, maybe they are rude, distracted, overly affectionate, silly, resistant or acting cold toward you. These behaviours can be very normal for children adjusting to the transition.

Moving between parents can be disruptive to the structure and routine. They must adapt to new surroundings, routines, house vibes and parenting styles.

Give your children some time to re-settle in. Let them have that time of adjustment. They may need to burn off some energy, go to a park or maybe they need some downtime so you plan on a quiet evening in.

Support and open communication are key to helping kids through this time.

#DivorceAndKids #SupportingChildren
#lifeafterdivorce
#riseupcounselling #childrenofdivorce #transitionscanbehard #divorce #socialworkersofinstagram ...

Some days we are on top of our game - such as prepping lunches and snacks for a busy work day. Other days we find every article that “proves” gum and coffee add fantastic nutritional value to our existence 😂

What do your best (and worst) days look like?

#riseupcounselling #therapy #thursdaythoughts #separation #divorce #lifeafterdivorce #socialworkersofinstagram ...

Rock bottom is when a person feels emotionally overwhelmed and broken. They will frequently feel flattened with hardly any energy. Rock bottom is meant to be a temporary place, you can visit, but you can’t move in!
 
Hitting rock bottom is the beginning of questioning everything that you've ever thought to be true. You question your motives, other people's motives, your beliefs, your fears, why you did things, why you didn't do things, why you attracted certain people and circumstances, why you succeeded, why you failed.
 
What To Do When You Hit Rock Bottom?
When you’ve hit rock bottom emotionally, the first thing to do is identify your emotions and why you feel them. What are the emotions triggering feeling at rock bottom?
 
How to Recover From Rock Bottom
 
🪨Take Control of Your Emotions
🪨Focus On Self-Improvement
🪨Adopt A Healthy Lifestyle
🪨Take A Break
🪨Seek Someone To Talk to.
 
Feeling at rock bottom emotionally is not a permanent situation.
You might feel hopeless, fed up, or insignificant, but it’s important to remember that these feelings are an opportunity to rise up and come out on the other side stronger and happier than before.

#riseupcounselling #hittingrockbottom #selfcare #seperation #divorce #lifeafterdivorce #socialworkersofinstagram #therapy #counselling ...

Do you seem to repeat the same dysfunctional relationship patterns even though they leave you frustrated and hurt?

Even when you know something is “wrong” or unhealthy, it's hard to change; it's always easier to keep doing what you've always done than to learn and apply new skills. This is especially true in stressful situations. The pattern will continue until you have done some work to change it.

Here are some ways to begin changing your old patterns:

1. Become more aware of the relationship patterns in your family. These were the models for all your future relationships.
2. Reflect on your own behavior.
3. Heal the underlying trauma wounds.
4. Learn and practice new skills.
5. Be kind to yourself.

No matter where you are on your journey to healing and creating new relationship patterns, there is hope. Change is possible!

#riseupcounselling #changeispossible #separation #divorce #lifeafterdivorce #oldpatterns #werepeatwhatwedontchange #fridaymood ...

“There’s beauty in the struggle, ugliness in the success.” — J. Cole

Beauty in the struggle often emerges from the growth, resilience, and transformation that challenges bring. It's about finding strength and meaning amidst difficulties, appreciating the journey, and witnessing personal progress. Just like a diamond is formed under immense pressure, beauty can arise from life's challenges.

In the context of divorce, J. Cole's quote might suggest that the process of going through a challenging and difficult experience like divorce can lead to personal growth and inner strength, despite the pain it might bring. Open yourself up to discover something not as noticeable at first glance. Refuse to be repulsed by what you see. Embrace the ugliness and transform it into something beautiful before your eyes.

If you need some support feel free to reach out to us at anytime!

#divorce #separation #socialworkersofinstagram #riseupcounselling #lifeafterdivorce #innerstrength #beautyinthestruggle #jcole ...