Co-parenting after divorce can be challenging, but putting your child’s emotional needs first is key. These gentle reminders help create a safe and supportive environment for your child as they navigate this new family dynamic. Here’s a message that reflects what many children wish they could say. Remember, small acts of understanding go a long way in making them feel secure and loved.

“Dear Parents, I’m just a kid, so here’s what I need from you during this time. Please remember these rules as part of your commitment to care for me. Don’t talk badly about each other or involve me in adult issues – it makes me feel torn. Keep grown-up topics like money, child support, and the divorce out of my world. Let me enjoy time with each of you without guilt, and please don’t use me as a messenger. Let me bring my things between homes and love you both fully. These small promises mean everything to me”.

#Coparenting #DivorceWithDignity #ChildFirst #LoveNotLoyalty #lifeafterdivorce #childrenofdivorce #riseupcounselling #highconflict #therapy #whatkidssay #socialworkers #divorce #divorcesupport ...

In every relationship there are three things that are important - love, trust and accountability. Words are powerful, but without action, they’re just empty promises.

❤️ Love Needs Action:
Love isn’t just about saying “I love you.” It requires actions that show care, commitment, and support to make it genuine and lasting. True love is demonstrated through consistent actions that express your feelings.
❤️ Trust Needs Proof:
Trust is built through consistent, reliable behaviour over time. If someone wants to earn trust, they need to provide proof through their actions, showing that they’re dependable and honest.
❤️ Sorry Means Change: Apologizing isn’t just about saying the words “I’m sorry.” A sincere apology involves a commitment to change and improve behaviour, showing that the person understands what went wrong and is willing to act differently.

Let’s make our actions speak louder than our words. ...

Divorce can sometimes feel like you’re left out of places you once belonged—family gatherings, old friend groups, or even the dreams you used to share. But here’s the thing: this is your chance to create something new, something completely yours.

Instead of focusing on who’s not inviting you in, shift your energy toward building a life that reflects you. Create new traditions, surround yourself with people who lift you up, and find joy in the freedom of moving forward on your terms.

Remember, you don’t need a seat at someone else’s table to feel valued. The best tables are the ones where everyone is welcome—and where you truly belong. ...

The end of daylight saving time can trigger adverse health impacts. Turning the clocks back today can affect your productivity and energy levels.

It can take your body several days to adjust to the time. Here are a few ways to adjust to the time change as we “fall back.”

⏰ Go outside and get some sun.
The end of daylight saving time marks the start of shorter days and earlier sunsets. Get outside and soak up some daylight.

⏰ Keep a regular sleep schedule.
Go to sleep around your usual time to maintain your regular sleep-wake cycle. After the time change, continue going to bed at the same time. Once you get into a consistent pattern, your body will align with your schedule.

⏰ Keep your dinner time consistent.
On the days around the time change, eat at the same time or even eat a little early. To ease the transition, shift your mealtime forward 15 minutes for a few days.

#riseupcounselling #daylightsavings #socialworker #separation #divorce #coparenting #lifeafterdivorce #childrenofdivorce #sundayfunday ...

Is there beauty in feeling broken?

This was posted a few years ago but so many clients have talked about feeling “broken” lately, so this might be a timely reminder.

I (Helen) was riding the Peloton bike the other day and I heard the instructor talking about how she related to Humpty Dumpty?? To be honest, it was one of those days that I was rather distracted and half listening, while responding to some emails. But I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the childhood nursery rhyme Humpty Dumpty? You know the one…

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,
All the King’s horses and all the King’s men
Couldn’t put Humpty together again.

It made me think how life throws some immense, life altering challenges at us. Sometimes, the challenges, conflicts, and stress make you fall; feeling broken. Despite all of our support systems it’s hard to be put back together. But we have the power to not let the story end there.

Embrace the brokenness in your life, don’t wallow in self-pity. Our life’s stories are sometimes filled with periods of brokenness. Don’t try to hide from those broken pieces. Rather, embrace them! Our cracks and our scars in life exhibit to others a life lived.

Those cracks and scars, DID NOT break you! They made you stronger!

There is beauty in brokenness!

#humptydumpty #beautyinfeelingbroken #riseupcounselling #highconflictdivorce #separation #divorce #sundaymood☀️ #peloton #pelotoninspiration
#robinarzon ...

The person you marry isn’t always the person you divorce. The journey from love to separation can reveal sides of people we didn’t expect. Divorce brings out a range of emotions—hurt, fear, or self-protection—and sometimes people act in ways that surprise us. Remember, this isn’t about who they ‘truly’ are but about the tough process they’re navigating. Divorce doesn’t define a person, but it can definitely bring new sides to light.

#divorce #separation #therapy #socialworkers #coparenting #divorcesupport #navigatingdivorce ...

Co-parenting counselling is a form of therapy that helps separated or divorced parents work together to raise their children in a healthy, supportive environment. It focuses on improving communication and resolving conflicts, while prioritizing the children`s well-being. The goal is to help parents collaborate more effectively, reduce tension, and maintain consistency in parenting decisions, even when they do not agree.

Several therapy goals may include, yet are not limited to:

✔️To assure that everyone is physically and emotionally safe;
✔️Foster overall healthy child adjustment;
✔️Facilitate the implementation of the previously agreed-to or court-ordered parenting time schedule;
✔️Assist parents in identifying, expressing and better managing anxiety;
✔️Restore, develop, or facilitate adequate parenting and co-parenting functioning and skills;
✔️Assist the parents in resolving relevant parent-child conflicts;
✔️Develop communication skills and effective approaches to problem-solving;
✔️Assist the parents in fully understanding the child(ren)’s needs for healthy relationships with both parents and the negative repercussions for the child(ren) of a severed or compromised relationship with a parent in their young lives and as adults;
✔️Assist the parents in identifying and separating each child’s needs and views from each parent’s needs and views;
✔️Work with each parent to establish more appropriate parent–parent and parent–child roles and boundaries;
✔️Assist each parent in distinguishing valid concerns from overly negative, critical, and generalized views relating to the other parent.

By working through these challenges in a structured and supportive setting, co-parenting counselling aims to create a stable, harmonious environment for the children involved, fostering their emotional and developmental growth. ...

Boundaries are essential in co-parenting because they provide stability for children, minimize conflict, and ensure both parents maintain respect and emotional well-being. Clear boundaries create consistency, helping children feel secure while allowing parents to avoid misunderstandings and unnecessary tension. They foster respectful communication, protect personal space, and prevent co-parenting from intruding on each parent’s personal life. Boundaries also encourage accountability, promote healthy interactions, and keep the focus on the children’s well-being, making the co-parenting relationship more cooperative and less stressful.

#boundaries #coparenting #riseupcounselling #coparentingcourses #coparentingcounselling #therapyhelps #highconflict #lifeafterdivorce #lifeduringdivorce #childrenofdivorce ...

Co-parenting courses are designed to help parents navigate the challenges of raising children after separation or divorce. These courses offer tools and strategies that benefit both parents and children, including:

🎯Improved Communication: Courses teach effective communication techniques, helping parents to collaborate and discuss child-related matters respectfully and productively.
🎯Conflict Resolution: Parents learn strategies to manage disagreements and reduce conflict, fostering a more peaceful environment for the children.
🎯Focus on the Child’s Needs: These courses emphasize prioritizing the well-being and emotional needs of the child, encouraging parents to keep their child’s best interests at the forefront.
🎯Consistency in Parenting: Co-parenting courses encourage consistency in parenting styles, rules, and routines between both households, which provides stability for the children.
🎯Healthy Boundaries: Parents learn how to establish and maintain healthy boundaries with each other, which can minimize misunderstandings and create a more harmonious co-parenting relationship.
🎯Stress Reduction for Children: By reducing conflict and improving cooperation, children are likely to experience less stress, which is critical for their emotional development and well-being.
🎯Emotional Support for Parents: These courses often provide emotional support for parents as they navigate the transition to co-parenting, helping them process their own feelings and develop healthier coping mechanisms.

Rise Up Counselling has a great online course called Parenting From Two Homes. It is a course that helps parents focus on their children without putting them in the middle. Contact [email protected] to order your course today.

#coparenting #coparentingcourses #ConflictResolution #goodcoparenting #highconflictdivorce #separation #divorce #lifeafterdivorce #childrenofdivorce #riseupcounselling #socialwork ...

Growth is all about learning, evolving, and improving. As we gain new knowledge and insights, we get the chance to make better choices and take actions that align with who we’re becoming. Every day is a new opportunity to level up!

#GrowthMindset #LearningJourney #DoBetter
#lifeafterdivorce #riseupcounselling #coparenting #highconflictdivorce #socialworkersofinstagram #fridaymood #fridayvibes ...

Thoughts create feelings. Feelings create behaviours. Behaviours create outcomes. So, if you want to change your outcomes, you must change your thoughts. 

Rescripting negative thoughts is a powerful cognitive technique. It involves recognizing unhelpful or irrational thoughts and replacing them with more balanced and constructive ones. Once you identify the negative thought (such as “I always mess up, I’m not good at anything), you need to do the following:

📜Challenge the Thought!
Ask yourself whether the thought is accurate, realistic, or helpful. Are you basing it on facts, or do your emotions distort it?
Example: “Do I always mess up, or is this just one situation? Have I done things well before?”

📜Reframe the Thought!
Once you’ve challenged the accuracy of the thought, reframe it to be more balanced or realistic.
New Thought Example: “I made a mistake, but that doesn’t mean I’m not good at anything. I’ve succeeded in many things before and can learn from this.”

📜Focus on Solutions!
Shift your focus from dwelling on the negative to finding solutions or positive actions you can take.
Example: “What can I do differently next time? How can I improve?”

📜Use Positive Affirmations!
Reinforce the new, positive thought with affirmations or self-encouraging language.
Example: “I am capable and resourceful. I can handle setbacks and grow stronger from them.”

Small mindset shifts can create significant changes! ...

As therapists, we see a significant difference in co-parenting dynamics when there is litigation. Litigation can significantly impact co-parenting relationships, often exacerbating tension between parents and making it harder to cooperate in the best interests of their children. It usually leads to:

🔥 Increased conflict: Court battles escalate tensions, making cooperation nearly impossible.
💔 Damaged trust: Constant accusations and evidence against each other erode trust, making it harder to co-parent in the future.
📉 Child-centered decisions take a backseat: Litigation often focuses on parental rights, not what’s best for the kids.
😞 Emotional toll on kids: When parents fight in court, kids feel caught in the middle and may struggle emotionally.

But there are better ways to handle divorce! Instead of fighting it out in court, consider alternatives that promote collaboration and focus on your child’s well-being. Here are some practical options:

1. Mediation: A neutral third party helps parents communicate and agree, focusing on what’s best for the kids. It’s faster, less expensive, and encourages cooperative problem-solving.
2. Collaborative Law: Both parents (with their lawyers) work as a team to resolve disputes outside of court. This approach promotes respect, open communication, and creative solutions for your family’s unique needs.
3. Co-Parenting Therapy: Working with a therapist can help improve communication, reduce tension, and provide tools to navigate co-parenting challenges while keeping the focus on your children’s emotional health.
4. Parenting Coordination: A parenting coordinator helps resolve day-to-day conflicts and supports parents in sticking to their parenting plan, reducing stress and minimizing the need for court involvement.

These alternatives can reduce conflict, keep the focus on the children, preserve relationships, offer more flexibility, and be cost-effective. 

Choosing a path that avoids courtroom stress and sets the stage for better co-parenting in the future. Your children deserve a peaceful, cooperative environment—and so do you. ...